Category Archives: Short Stories

Untitled Short

 

I died the night she left me. The sting of her words was still burning in my head when I went to cross the street. I never saw the car coming. In an instant, I was lost.

I’ve spent two months hovering over my broken body. It’s true that the machines are what keep me alive, but my mind is still wide awake. My thoughts are clearer now than they ever have been.

I don’t remember the impact. That is a small blessing, to say the least. I do remember the pain though. Not the pain of having my body thrown over a hundred feet or the pain of my bones crackling as I hit the pavement. No, I’m talking about the pain of heartache. My body was just catching up with my heart.

I don’t blame her for giving up. I made too many mistakes. I took for granted that she would always be there – always be my wife. If my life’s lesson was to learn that it takes more than love – more than passion even, then I learned well. It takes more than love. It takes trust.

I’ve had plenty of time to think about the many mistakes I made while floating over my lifeless form. I’ve watched people come and go; some shocked by my disfigured body, others weeping as they say their last good-byes. Nobody thinks I am going to live, and perhaps I won’t. I was dead before that car ever struck me. I was dead the moment she let go.

There are no angels or demons here. No heaven or hell. It’s the same space I’ve inhabited all along. I don’t know what will happen if I let go. I could float off into a black void and simply cease to exist. I might discover the answers to the greatest questions ever imagined. More than likely, I think I will continue to be here, attached to a world that I can no longer hold claim to. My physical body would simply serve as food for the Earth and my conscience would be eternal. There are so many possibilities, but absolutely no assurances.

I hear her whispering to me at night. She fights me most just before sleep. I listen as she asks for my forgiveness or curses me for leaving her in this wretched world alone. I hear every single word.

I wish I could hold her, touch her, and reassure her that I am fine. But I’m not really fine at all, am I? Even if I were to make a miraculous recovery and return to the life I knew before the accident, I still wouldn’t be fine. I was fine when I knew she loved me. I was fine when she was by my side. I was fine when we dreamed about our future together. No, I’ll never again be fine.

I have to wonder if I’m holding on to this life just to be close to her. Is it more selfish of me to want to hang on to her than it is to cut myself off from my body? Am I not killing a part of her by giving up? Yes, I realize it’s that I’m selfish. I’ve always been selfish. If it weren’t for my selfishness she may still be my wife and I might not have walked in front of that car. If, if, if…all these ifs.

I acknowledge the severity of my crimes. I ask only for her forgiveness as each day I fade. I am beyond prayer and still no closer to God. There’s no penance for the guilty soul. I must let go and end these dreams of absolution. There’s no peace in delaying the inevitable. Now, be quiet my mind and deliver my soul.


The Game

The closet was dark as he fought his way between clothes, shoes and boxes. His breathing was heavy as he positioned himself against the wall and began to regulate his breathing. He could see the last hint of the afternoon sun streaming through the spaces between the wooden planks crossing the closet doors. Soon, she would be home.

He relaxed more as five minutes turned into thirty minutes, finding ways to amuse himself inside her cluttered closet. He pressed his face against her most delicate garments, sniffing them first, and then rubbed his unshaven face over them. He felt himself growing aroused and quickly forced himself to think about more serious things – like what it would feel like to…

He was interrupted mid-thought by the sound of a car door shutting. She was home. He knew her routine like clockwork. His palms were wet with sweat as he heard the downstairs door open and then close. He closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing under control as he heard the dead bolt lock click into place. She was all safe and secure from the outside world now. No one could get in. He smiled, thinking, and no one can get out!

Sweat trickled down his cheeks in anticipation of her entrance into the bedroom. The light came on and his body stiffened as the light penetrating the planks felt like a spotlight set out to expose him. He closed his eyes tightly, releasing his clenched fists and breathed through his nose. There, much better.

He slowly opened his eyes to the sight of her undressing. She removed her clothing and laid it aside with such care. Her movements were liquid as she quietly maneuvered naked throughout the bedroom. She was humming a familiar tune. He searched his brain trying to place the song with no luck. Then, he settled back on the task at hand.

He fumbled with the thin piece of packaging rope he had stuffed in his pocket earlier in the day. He preferred piano wire but he didn’t have time to prepare as much as he had wanted. The window of opportunity fell short and now he was forced to play his hand unrehearsed.

He watched her disappear into the small bathroom adjacent to her bedroom. He closed his eyes again, breathing in the scented, humid air as she ran a bath. His jaw tightened as he ground his teeth together, methodically calculating the perfect moment to make his move.

He watched as she bent over her bed, laying out her virginal looking night gown and placing her white frilly panties just so. He slid the door open cautiously. The water filling the tub echoed loud enough to mask any noise from the closet doors. He moved catlike behind her, his cock suddenly rock hard as he wrapped the rope around her neck and snapped her backwards.

He smiled when she gasped. He knew he’s taken her off guard. She struggled not to free herself from his surprise attack, but to be able to breathe. He had practiced this technique before.

He loosened the rope slightly, giving her body enough leverage to slide down so that he could push her face forward into the bed. As she gasped for the little bit of air he was allowing her to have, he had already unzipped his pants and has forcing himself inside her. She let out a loud whimper, at which time he tightened the rope once again. She needed to realize she wasn’t going to be able to scream for help. Hell, she was lucky if he allowed her to breathe!

He used the rope as a reign of sorts, pounding into her repeatedly as tears streamed down her cheeks. He clinched his teeth, thrusting hard into her as if he were stabbing her over and over again until finally, he buried himself deep inside her, spewing his seed inside her.

He stepped back, admiring his work, watching her gasp for air, gagging as her body shook. She found her ground and faced him. A quick slap echoed throughout the room as she scowled. She walked toward the bathroom and turned off the water.

He heard her step into the bath and walked toward the bathroom. He stood over her contemplating his next move. She glared up at him and yelled, ‘not good enough!’

He lowered his head in defeat. She splashed water at him, yelling, ‘I expect more from you! Now bathe me.’

He slid to his knees, taking her favorite sponge and gently scrubbing the day away. She relaxed, settling down into the tub as he washed her hair.


Muddy Waters: A Dick Bender Mystery I

I

 

Dick sat at the kitchen table reading the morning beat. He read every story within the pages of The Globe. You have to keep on top of the news, he thought. He found his way to the daily crossword puzzle and methodically creased and folded the paper into a small bundle so that he could concentrate on the challenge at hand. He took a swig of his lukewarm coffee, touched the lead end of his pencil to the tip of his tongue and set out to defeat the world’s hardest puzzle. Just as he had started reading through each clue, a light rapping sound came from the front door. He looked at his watch — 5:30 a.m.  He answered the door and was greeted by a messenger.

“I have a telegram for Richard Bender, Sir”, the polite and neatly dressed messenger said.

“That would be me.” Dick signed, nodded and closed the door.

The telegraph paper was crisp and white. Dick knew the message had been delivered as soon as it had been typed out. Must be important, he thought, as he ran his index finger lightly around the envelopes edges before opening it.

 

 To: Richard Bender, 1419 Randolph Street

From: S. E. Williams, The Globe, Inc., 272 White Avenue

Dear Richard,

I have a new assignment for you. I have just received word of new developments in the French Broad River murder cases. The locals are being quite mum about the details and the FBI has been sent in for further manpower. Use your connections in the Bureau and break this story wide open. All arrangements have been made. You will be traveling with an assistant who will meet you at the train station for departure at 6:15 a.m. sharp.

Best, Silas

 

Dick checked his watch again – 5:49 a.m. He whisked by the kitchen table and gulped the last of his cold coffee and then began the task of throwing necessities into a bag. He didn’t mind the assignment, actually, he welcomed it. It would help take his mind off the recent split with Jane, the blonde bombshell in the office who used and abused him for all her sexual needs and then spit him out like a piece of fatty meat when she was finished with him. He stopped for a moment, caught up in the thought of how it had all ended. He burrowed his forehead, growing angry with himself for allowing Jane to manipulate his heart. He turned toward the nightstand where he still kept a photo of them together. He slammed the photo down, then shook himself out of that moment. He picked up the phone receiver and called for a cab.

By the time the cab had arrived, Dick had managed to finish off a couple of slices of buttery toast and a half glass of milk. He grabbed the newspaper, pencil and a red delicious apple from his fruit bowl and headed outside to greet the cabbie and his insistent horn. The cabbie looked Dick over, obviously aggravated that he had to wait. Dick slid into the back seat and closed the door.

“Amtrak, please.”

6:06 a.m. Dick walked toward the nearest check-in booth. He had almost reached the attendant when he heard his name called. He turned, and was met by a frantically waving Trixie. Dick looked around for a moment while Trixie caught her breath.

“Betcha didn’t expect to see me here, did ya handsome?” Trixie smiled, lighting a cigarette.

“Trixie, what are you doing here?! Shouldn’t you be at…”

“The boss man told me to be your assistant for this trip. He said you’d need my help honey”, she puffed, coughing lightly.

Dick looked down at his perfectly polished loafers, let out a long breath and returned his gaze to Trixie.

“Trixie, there must have been a mistake. Why would Silas send you?”

Trixie stood still a moment, staring at Dick, then flipped her head to the side in a motion as if she had really long hair and hair that wasn’t pinned to a wig. A well-defined pout came upon her distorted red-painted lips and her hand fell against her hip.

“Riiichard Beeender”, she said, “who do you think you are?! He sent me because I’m good honey, and don’t you ever forget it! And another thing, he sent ME because I’m a tranny and those poor dead women were tranny’s too! Don’t you get all high and mighty on me, DICK. Just you remember, we come from the same mold, ‘cept yours is male and mine’s female!”

Trixie flicked the long ash from her cigarette while tapping her toe in her red pumps waiting on Dick to respond. He let out a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry Trix. I didn’t mean it to sound that way. Just do me a favor please? Put those cigarettes away! They are killing my allergies already and they stink!”

Trixie puffed quickly on her last cigarette before boarding the train. Dick had already found his seat and pulled out the mornings crossword before she stumbled clumsily down the aisle and plopped down beside him.

“No first class for the high-class, I reckon”, she said, shoving Dentine chewing gum into her mouth. “Gum?” she offered. Dick shook his head and set about to attack the crossword.

“Soooo, I heard you and Jane broke off. What’s her problem anyway? You’re a good-looking transman, Dick. That bitch is crazy anyway”, she laughed, patting Dicks shoulder.

Dick tried to ignore her, but the sound of her voice began to twist in his head until finally, he asked the attendant for a pillow so that he could catch a nap before their late afternoon arrival. He drifted off with Trixie’s play by-play of all the office gossip.